I didn't ask to be a princess...but if the crown fits

Everybody has a blog these days, but no one asks the really important questions - how much does it cost to have a naked butler in permanent employment? Is it unfeminist  to always shout for the nearest man when you see a spider? Is 23 too old to wear a onesie (for two consecutive days)?

I'm Not So Disney Princess, I'm 23, my work uniform makes me look like a lesbian (are we still allowed to say lesbian?) I frequently wake up with half a burger on my pillow accompanying my dreadful hangover and I    always feel like I deserve a medal when I've made it to the gym.

The big questions on my mind this week are:

• Why haven't I put that burger in the bin yet?
• Should I stop lying to my calorie counter about how much I've eaten? And how much I weigh?
• Why won't my hair go right? It's bushier than Basil Brushes tail and with over excessive dye jobs to cover an awful bleaching incident, I'm more than a little worried it will all fall out.

The things I'm hoping to achieve this week are:

• Stop having bordeom crushes on people at work. Or at least stop getting drunk with my bordeom crushes at work.
• Go to the gym for an actual work out instead trying to sweat calories out in the steam room and nearly passing out every time a fit guy comes in by sucking my gut in so much.
• Hopefully hear back from the job I applied for, so I can stop working in a pub and wearing a uniform that makes me look like a lesbian dressing up as a magicians assistant.

The countless business books I read at university extolled the benefits of writing  aims and objectives, so I'm hoping by using them in my personal life, I'll get a little bit closer to my life plan (which at the moment consists of get a proper job and thread upper lip). 

What are you weekly objectives?